First Round v. Toronto
Game 7 W, 5-1
4/23/19 6:38 PM EDT. Finish Them.
10:01 PM. YES! Goals by Nords, MoJo, Sex Magnet, Coys, and Bergy. I'm so happy for all of them. Thank you, Thank you Mr. Rask. Thank you, Men. Thank you so much.
Thank you Toronto.
A statistic not mentioned when a team wins and another team loses is that domestic violence numbers rise. I don't know why they don't automatically show crisis numbers after a game. In between the money shelled out for alcohol ads. Domestic violence is violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. Don't treat others like animals. thehotline.org (USA) healthlinkbc.ca (Canada - BC). dawncanada.net/issues/crisis-hotlines/ I'm not your damn punching bag or doormat because your team lost. Get out of there and seek help. Suicide Prevention and Support. crisisservicescanada.ca/ You are not alone. Don't you want to see Babcock fired?
Let me tell you something. I wanted to jump out of the window when the Red Sox lost the ALCS in 2003. Goodbye cruel world. If I did...I would have missed seeing those loser team faces when the Marlins trampled them in the WS, I would have missed 2004 when the Red Sox captured the ALCS in the Bronx, I would have missed the WS wins in 2004 - 2007 - 2013 -2018, and I would have missed seeing Aaron fuckin' Boones' demise in pinstripes. Every heartbreak I compare to 2003. I survived it and you will survive your hardships.
Bergeron wants to eat your soul. twitter.com/stoolpresidente/
What a blessed day. Second round starts on Thursday. On to Columbus.
Game 6 W, 4-2
Happy Easter. This is the prince that was promised.
4/21/19 3:27 PM EDT. Red Sox: Score 2-1. Down by one at the top of the 4th inning. X is at the plate. Celtics: 109-100 ten seconds left in the 4th quarter. To the men on the ice: The ships that were used to bring us here have been burned. I will not spend my Easter pissed off.
9:24 PM. Oh, Thank God.
Red Sox won, Celtics won, and the Bruins won. Goals from Krug, DeBrusk, and 2 goals from Mr. Marchand. Men, you did good. I am very thankful. My anxiety level was at a 10. I'm glad that my heart rate is leveled, I was able to ice (as in frost) an Easter cake (that may look like a mouse or bunny but was suppose to look like a hippo. You know the traditional Easter hippo cake. That is a joke. I was influenced by the "Mugs" hippo story from "MFM Miniepisode #118 4/15/19), and that the season continues for the Bruins. Now since the boats are burned let's find some new boats for the trip back to Boston. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Until Tuesday where we will burn the new boats. On to Toronto.
Game 5 L, 2-1
7:18 PM. "Here comes Chára", don't mess with big yoda. Red Sox: Welcome to the dance, Michael Chavis #23. Thank you, Swihart. Red Sox, I believe.
Pasta Awakens, The David Krejčí School of Greatness is in effect, and sex magnet Kurs is back on the ice. Dear namesake of this website. I love you. Marsh Magic. Rask in net. Pesky #74 Mode.
9:27 PM. 6 minutes left in the third. Score 2-0, Bruins with the donut. Lord have mercy. Three minutes left in the third. Empty net in the forecast. Please be kind, empty net. Please pull a bunny out of a hat, boyz. Two minutes left. Krejčí!!!!! Thirty seconds left. Bruins down by 1. Oh, frere. Ils sont venus ici et abasourdis. La magie de Marsh pas aujourd'hui. Je n'aime pas ça. Jésus, s'il te plaît, fais ton truc ce dimanche. S'il vous plaît, aidez les Bruins, Seigneur. Thank you, Mr. Rask. I don't agree with the refs and the call on the play. I accept the task at hand. I believe in this team. You guys are so banged up and bruised. It is going to take a miracle. I am here for the miracle. To the Scotiabank Arena on Sunday. The idea that Dola and Oliva Culpo are participating in crazy sex with one another is the funniest thing I have heard all day. Those two can't point to crazy sex on the map. I'm in a bad mood, yelling at clouds, and crazy sex shaming. The Red Sox (7-13) won so that is good. On to Toronto.
Game 4 W, 6-4
Lord, please help the Bruins.
4/17/19 8:43 PM EDT. End of the second period. Score 4-2. Goals by McAvoy, Marsh, and 2 from Pasta. Rask in net. Alright, Alright, Alright.
9:39 PM. Chára and Nords also scored. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Safe flight back to Boston, everyone. God is good. On to Toronto.
Game 3 L, 3-2
4/15 9:28 PM EDT. Rask in the net. Goals from Krej and Coys. Bruins down by 1, 6 minutes left in the 3rd period. Alright, Men. Puck please find the other team's net. Unguarded cage please be kind.
4/16 11:59 PM. Well, they lost. Also I had a sex dream about Brad Marchand and I don't know how to process this. I think it was because I didn't finish this "semi-live blog" post until today and it was on my mind as I went to sleep (last night). That is how I am rationalizing it. If I could manifest a sex dream I would like it to be with Anton Khudobin and a whole other dream night with Sean Kuraly. A girl can only wish.
Pens and Bolts were bounced from the playoffs. The time is now to rally. To call upon the hockey Gods and ask that the Bruins win three more games. I'm watching "Wonder Woman" as I type this. Let's grab the God Killer and annihilate. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Brad Marchand you are in charge of the God Killer. Also, I don't want anymore sex dreams about you. It could have been better. Which is a pretty good critique. On to Toronto.
Game 2 W, 4-1
Boston is winning this bloody game!
4/13/19 9:33 PM EDT. Well, I just finished doing my taxes and I'm about to eat popcorn. Goals by Coys, Marsh, and Heins. 6 minutes left in the second period, score 3-0. Rask in the net.
@ScottMoir (6:52 PM - 3/13/2019) "I know Kadri has made some questionable plays in his career. But tonight he has played hard and clean... Stripes feel free to make a call on Debrusk! Guy is running at guys out there!". This is a bad take. I would like to see the DeBrusk family confront Mr. Ice Dancer. Mama Bear, Papa Bear, and all the blonde bears confront Goldilocks. Oh, Goldilocks.
10:39 PM. 17 seconds left in the third. 4-1. Bergy with the 4th goal of the game. Thank you Mr. Rask. Good job, Men. Pass Go, collect a win, and on to Toronto.
*****
Now is the time. Time to be, time to do, and time to win it all. Win it for your teammates, for this organization, for your family, and for your city. Win it for the youth who dreamed of raising the cup. The youth who was blessed with the ability to play hockey, to love hockey, and to make it as a professional hockey player. The time is now. 16 teams enter the second season. Show them you are worth that extra 50k or the extra 10 million. Time to pass Go and collect what is rightfully yours. Lord Stanley wants to see a show.
Game 1 L, 4-1
4/11/19 8:43 PM EDT. Red Sox 5-3, bottom of the 4th. Boston down by two but meat and taters is at the plate. I always call him meat and taters even though the quote is "steak and potatoes". Meat, steak, whatever. The boyz on the ice. Rask in the net. Down by two in the second period. I believe. End of the second period.
9:35 PM. Oh Lord. Bruins down by two, last two minutes, and we have an empty B's net.
9:39 PM. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Goal by Bergy. Shake off those cobwebs, Men. "This ain't no hobby, fellas" - Kevin Kisner. Some good news: @todd_angilly (9:28 AM - 4/11/19) "So honored to be singing the anthems for games 1 and 2! It’s an honor and privilege! Let’s go Bruins!!!" and the Red Sox won. Take that Toronto. Back here on Saturday, time to rumble. On to Game Two.
Game 7 in Boston W, 5-1
Game 6 W, 4-2
Game 5 L, 2-1
Game 4 W, 6-4
Game 3 L, 3-2
Game 2 W, 4-1
Game 1 L, 4-1
4/23/19 6:38 PM EDT. Finish Them.
10:01 PM. YES! Goals by Nords, MoJo, Sex Magnet, Coys, and Bergy. I'm so happy for all of them. Thank you, Thank you Mr. Rask. Thank you, Men. Thank you so much.
Thank you Toronto.
A statistic not mentioned when a team wins and another team loses is that domestic violence numbers rise. I don't know why they don't automatically show crisis numbers after a game. In between the money shelled out for alcohol ads. Domestic violence is violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. Don't treat others like animals. thehotline.org (USA) healthlinkbc.ca (Canada - BC). dawncanada.net/issues/crisis-hotlines/ I'm not your damn punching bag or doormat because your team lost. Get out of there and seek help. Suicide Prevention and Support. crisisservicescanada.ca/ You are not alone. Don't you want to see Babcock fired?
Let me tell you something. I wanted to jump out of the window when the Red Sox lost the ALCS in 2003. Goodbye cruel world. If I did...I would have missed seeing those loser team faces when the Marlins trampled them in the WS, I would have missed 2004 when the Red Sox captured the ALCS in the Bronx, I would have missed the WS wins in 2004 - 2007 - 2013 -2018, and I would have missed seeing Aaron fuckin' Boones' demise in pinstripes. Every heartbreak I compare to 2003. I survived it and you will survive your hardships.
Bergeron wants to eat your soul. twitter.com/stoolpresidente/
What a blessed day. Second round starts on Thursday. On to Columbus.
Game 6 W, 4-2
Happy Easter. This is the prince that was promised.
4/21/19 3:27 PM EDT. Red Sox: Score 2-1. Down by one at the top of the 4th inning. X is at the plate. Celtics: 109-100 ten seconds left in the 4th quarter. To the men on the ice: The ships that were used to bring us here have been burned. I will not spend my Easter pissed off.
9:24 PM. Oh, Thank God.
Red Sox won, Celtics won, and the Bruins won. Goals from Krug, DeBrusk, and 2 goals from Mr. Marchand. Men, you did good. I am very thankful. My anxiety level was at a 10. I'm glad that my heart rate is leveled, I was able to ice (as in frost) an Easter cake (that may look like a mouse or bunny but was suppose to look like a hippo. You know the traditional Easter hippo cake. That is a joke. I was influenced by the "Mugs" hippo story from "MFM Miniepisode #118 4/15/19), and that the season continues for the Bruins. Now since the boats are burned let's find some new boats for the trip back to Boston. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Until Tuesday where we will burn the new boats. On to Toronto.
Game 5 L, 2-1
7:18 PM. "Here comes Chára", don't mess with big yoda. Red Sox: Welcome to the dance, Michael Chavis #23. Thank you, Swihart. Red Sox, I believe.
Pasta Awakens, The David Krejčí School of Greatness is in effect, and sex magnet Kurs is back on the ice. Dear namesake of this website. I love you. Marsh Magic. Rask in net. Pesky #74 Mode.
9:27 PM. 6 minutes left in the third. Score 2-0, Bruins with the donut. Lord have mercy. Three minutes left in the third. Empty net in the forecast. Please be kind, empty net. Please pull a bunny out of a hat, boyz. Two minutes left. Krejčí!!!!! Thirty seconds left. Bruins down by 1. Oh, frere. Ils sont venus ici et abasourdis. La magie de Marsh pas aujourd'hui. Je n'aime pas ça. Jésus, s'il te plaît, fais ton truc ce dimanche. S'il vous plaît, aidez les Bruins, Seigneur. Thank you, Mr. Rask. I don't agree with the refs and the call on the play. I accept the task at hand. I believe in this team. You guys are so banged up and bruised. It is going to take a miracle. I am here for the miracle. To the Scotiabank Arena on Sunday. The idea that Dola and Oliva Culpo are participating in crazy sex with one another is the funniest thing I have heard all day. Those two can't point to crazy sex on the map. I'm in a bad mood, yelling at clouds, and crazy sex shaming. The Red Sox (7-13) won so that is good. On to Toronto.
Game 4 W, 6-4
Lord, please help the Bruins.
4/17/19 8:43 PM EDT. End of the second period. Score 4-2. Goals by McAvoy, Marsh, and 2 from Pasta. Rask in net. Alright, Alright, Alright.
9:39 PM. Chára and Nords also scored. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Safe flight back to Boston, everyone. God is good. On to Toronto.
Game 3 L, 3-2
4/15 9:28 PM EDT. Rask in the net. Goals from Krej and Coys. Bruins down by 1, 6 minutes left in the 3rd period. Alright, Men. Puck please find the other team's net. Unguarded cage please be kind.
4/16 11:59 PM. Well, they lost. Also I had a sex dream about Brad Marchand and I don't know how to process this. I think it was because I didn't finish this "semi-live blog" post until today and it was on my mind as I went to sleep (last night). That is how I am rationalizing it. If I could manifest a sex dream I would like it to be with Anton Khudobin and a whole other dream night with Sean Kuraly. A girl can only wish.
Pens and Bolts were bounced from the playoffs. The time is now to rally. To call upon the hockey Gods and ask that the Bruins win three more games. I'm watching "Wonder Woman" as I type this. Let's grab the God Killer and annihilate. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Brad Marchand you are in charge of the God Killer. Also, I don't want anymore sex dreams about you. It could have been better. Which is a pretty good critique. On to Toronto.
Game 2 W, 4-1
Boston is winning this bloody game!
4/13/19 9:33 PM EDT. Well, I just finished doing my taxes and I'm about to eat popcorn. Goals by Coys, Marsh, and Heins. 6 minutes left in the second period, score 3-0. Rask in the net.
@ScottMoir (6:52 PM - 3/13/2019) "I know Kadri has made some questionable plays in his career. But tonight he has played hard and clean... Stripes feel free to make a call on Debrusk! Guy is running at guys out there!". This is a bad take. I would like to see the DeBrusk family confront Mr. Ice Dancer. Mama Bear, Papa Bear, and all the blonde bears confront Goldilocks. Oh, Goldilocks.
10:39 PM. 17 seconds left in the third. 4-1. Bergy with the 4th goal of the game. Thank you Mr. Rask. Good job, Men. Pass Go, collect a win, and on to Toronto.
*****
Now is the time. Time to be, time to do, and time to win it all. Win it for your teammates, for this organization, for your family, and for your city. Win it for the youth who dreamed of raising the cup. The youth who was blessed with the ability to play hockey, to love hockey, and to make it as a professional hockey player. The time is now. 16 teams enter the second season. Show them you are worth that extra 50k or the extra 10 million. Time to pass Go and collect what is rightfully yours. Lord Stanley wants to see a show.
Game 1 L, 4-1
4/11/19 8:43 PM EDT. Red Sox 5-3, bottom of the 4th. Boston down by two but meat and taters is at the plate. I always call him meat and taters even though the quote is "steak and potatoes". Meat, steak, whatever. The boyz on the ice. Rask in the net. Down by two in the second period. I believe. End of the second period.
9:35 PM. Oh Lord. Bruins down by two, last two minutes, and we have an empty B's net.
9:39 PM. Thank you, Mr. Rask. Goal by Bergy. Shake off those cobwebs, Men. "This ain't no hobby, fellas" - Kevin Kisner. Some good news: @todd_angilly (9:28 AM - 4/11/19) "So honored to be singing the anthems for games 1 and 2! It’s an honor and privilege! Let’s go Bruins!!!" and the Red Sox won. Take that Toronto. Back here on Saturday, time to rumble. On to Game Two.
Game 7 in Boston W, 5-1
Game 6 W, 4-2
Game 5 L, 2-1
Game 4 W, 6-4
Game 3 L, 3-2
Game 2 W, 4-1
Game 1 L, 4-1
